I'm down to the last forty pages of rewrite on my book, and then I'll send it back to the agent who suggested that I do this rewrite. The piece is definitely stronger thanks to his advice (we'll see if he agrees).
Meanwhile, I'm also overloading myself with information on childrearing. There are so many conflicting opinions out there, and my research method has always been to scan through whatever I can find, then mull it all over and decide what makes the most sense to me. I'm in overwhelmed/overstimulated phase of that process right now. If only I could rest assured that there are multiple right answers - instead I find myself taking note of how many screwed up people there are in the world, each one a reminder of how very wrong this could all go. Yeah... I need more sleep.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Writing? Yes. Sleeping? No.
Many have asked me if I'm sleeping any less with a new baby. No. It's about the same. I have considerably more opportunities to sleep than I take, though, as I often use the time to write. So the good news is, I can move forward on my writing projects. The bad news is, I may be headed towards some kind of psychotic event. I'm not sure if people can feel those coming on?
Editing the novel goes more slowly, but it goes, so I'm happy. I have my son to cuddle and a novel to write. Life doesn't get much better than this.
Editing the novel goes more slowly, but it goes, so I'm happy. I have my son to cuddle and a novel to write. Life doesn't get much better than this.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Life change
I haven't written anything fiction-wise since Monday. I think I can forgive myself, though. I woke up Tuesday morning, went straight to the hospital, and had my baby boy in the wee hours of Wednesday morning. He's doing well and we're all home now. I won't be posting his name or any pictures of him to this site, not because I'm afraid of people coming to hurt him, but because he's his own person and I want to leave it up to him how much online exposure he wants in life.
That isn't to say I won't ever talk about him, but I'll choose my stories carefully. You won't read about the silly thing he said the other day or the embarrassing situation he got himself into or the thing that I just thought was soooo cute that he did. I hope to have a long career as a writer and blogger and what is cute today is just flat out embarrassing to an older child.
I vividly remember my own childhood, as in I remember what kind of diaper pins my mother used on my cloth diapers and what my first day of preschool felt like (I didn't talk to anyone, just wandered around carrying a picture of a horse that my cousin, Sarah, drew for me out of magic marker). While I have a hard time remembering what someone said to me five minutes ago, I can clearly recall how much it hurt my feelings to hear an adult quoting some mistake I'd made or something "cute" I'd done (really, it isn't fun to be called cute when you're not trying to be), to another adult and laughing over it.
The thing about childish mistakes is that they're genuine mistakes; kids have an odd view of the world sometimes because they lack experience. Their emotions and their intentions, though, aren't all that different from anyone else's. And like anyone else, they don't like being mocked. Thank goodness there was no internet when I was growing up - I don't know that I'd ever get over it if someone had posted stories about me, because even now I wouldn't look at the story and chuckle. Odds are, I'd remember exactly how it felt when the situation happened. The memory thing runs in my family, so there's a chance my son may inherit it. I hope to be one of those adults that my child can trust implicitly, knowing that I'll never make light of him and never make public his shortfalls and setbacks. (And no, I don't expect the same from him. I expect his teachers, his friends, and anyone who reads his social networking pages will know all about the stupid things I do. I think that's just the way it goes.)
So, if I do talk about my son, I'll try to keep it to life lessons he taught me or help he's given me on my writing or how I figured out how to juggle caring for him and writing - provided it doesn't demean him. We hit a huge milestone today, which is that he weighed in big enough to use the Baby Bjorn. Now I can carry him around the house, cuddle him, and have my hands free to type. I also have the added benefit of having my husband home for the next six weeks, which is wonderful. He's a very involved, hands on father.
I have a novel to finish editing. I've set Monday as the first day to tackle it. I was two days away from being done before I went into labor - may take me longer than two days now, given I can work on novels any time but these days with my son are precious and won't come again.
That isn't to say I won't ever talk about him, but I'll choose my stories carefully. You won't read about the silly thing he said the other day or the embarrassing situation he got himself into or the thing that I just thought was soooo cute that he did. I hope to have a long career as a writer and blogger and what is cute today is just flat out embarrassing to an older child.
I vividly remember my own childhood, as in I remember what kind of diaper pins my mother used on my cloth diapers and what my first day of preschool felt like (I didn't talk to anyone, just wandered around carrying a picture of a horse that my cousin, Sarah, drew for me out of magic marker). While I have a hard time remembering what someone said to me five minutes ago, I can clearly recall how much it hurt my feelings to hear an adult quoting some mistake I'd made or something "cute" I'd done (really, it isn't fun to be called cute when you're not trying to be), to another adult and laughing over it.
The thing about childish mistakes is that they're genuine mistakes; kids have an odd view of the world sometimes because they lack experience. Their emotions and their intentions, though, aren't all that different from anyone else's. And like anyone else, they don't like being mocked. Thank goodness there was no internet when I was growing up - I don't know that I'd ever get over it if someone had posted stories about me, because even now I wouldn't look at the story and chuckle. Odds are, I'd remember exactly how it felt when the situation happened. The memory thing runs in my family, so there's a chance my son may inherit it. I hope to be one of those adults that my child can trust implicitly, knowing that I'll never make light of him and never make public his shortfalls and setbacks. (And no, I don't expect the same from him. I expect his teachers, his friends, and anyone who reads his social networking pages will know all about the stupid things I do. I think that's just the way it goes.)
So, if I do talk about my son, I'll try to keep it to life lessons he taught me or help he's given me on my writing or how I figured out how to juggle caring for him and writing - provided it doesn't demean him. We hit a huge milestone today, which is that he weighed in big enough to use the Baby Bjorn. Now I can carry him around the house, cuddle him, and have my hands free to type. I also have the added benefit of having my husband home for the next six weeks, which is wonderful. He's a very involved, hands on father.
I have a novel to finish editing. I've set Monday as the first day to tackle it. I was two days away from being done before I went into labor - may take me longer than two days now, given I can work on novels any time but these days with my son are precious and won't come again.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Becoming a hermit, please don't take offense
In these last days/weeks of my pregnancy, I'm withdrawing as much as I can from other people. Anyone who really wants to know the various due dates I've been given can no doubt find them on this site. I won't be giving the latest date out any more, simply because it doesn't really tell us what day the baby's coming, but rather seems to be providing a deadline that people can use to time their "is it here yet???" questions. I've been given *four* different due dates by two doctors. To say this is an imprecise science is an understatement.
People have been wonderfully kind, supportive, and very excited about us having a baby, and I can't tell you all how much that means to me. The cumulative effect, however, is getting rather crushing. And please, don't take that as an invitation to call up and sympathize with how many people harassed you near your due date. I love you all; I need a break from the constant stories/advice/questions/commiserations/etc. Really, I'm good. I have all the information I want and know how to get more.
We'll let everyone know when the baby's here, and no, we don't promise to do it immediately. We may feel like shouting it from the rooftops and posting on Facebook from the hospital. We may feel like going home to spend time together as a family for a few days before opening the floodgates and inviting visitors, simply because we want to be able to welcome visitors with open arms and happiness. We'll see how this all goes. The baby could be here in a couple of days, or may not come for a week or more. I'm going to work on being as relaxed and comfortable as I can be until then.
People have been wonderfully kind, supportive, and very excited about us having a baby, and I can't tell you all how much that means to me. The cumulative effect, however, is getting rather crushing. And please, don't take that as an invitation to call up and sympathize with how many people harassed you near your due date. I love you all; I need a break from the constant stories/advice/questions/commiserations/etc. Really, I'm good. I have all the information I want and know how to get more.
We'll let everyone know when the baby's here, and no, we don't promise to do it immediately. We may feel like shouting it from the rooftops and posting on Facebook from the hospital. We may feel like going home to spend time together as a family for a few days before opening the floodgates and inviting visitors, simply because we want to be able to welcome visitors with open arms and happiness. We'll see how this all goes. The baby could be here in a couple of days, or may not come for a week or more. I'm going to work on being as relaxed and comfortable as I can be until then.
Friday, March 13, 2009
We are moving!
Trevor's been accepted to a PhD program in the UK, so we will be moving there in the fall! (We decided that having a new baby and a family tragedy didn't put quite enough stress on us, I guess.) I'm excited to go back to the UK, though. I lived there for 5 years while I did 2 years of high school at the United World College of the Atlantic and then my bachelors at Oxford. For Trevor's program, we'll be there for another three years.
Means we've got to sell our house in a down market, but fortunately we've managed our finances so that this shouldn't kill us (I hope!) We'll be living like poor grad students, but we've both done that before. All in all, it should be a fun adventure!
Means we've got to sell our house in a down market, but fortunately we've managed our finances so that this shouldn't kill us (I hope!) We'll be living like poor grad students, but we've both done that before. All in all, it should be a fun adventure!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Escape Pod
I haven't kept up with posting my rejections, but here I'll try to get back on the wagon. Escape Pod - which is a great podcast market - sent a rejection a few days ago. This marks the last of my stories that was out in circulation coming back. I've been so tired during my pregnancy that I've let them all come back without sending them out again. It'll be a little while before I get back the energy to get them all in the mail, but that's all right.
Had another doctor's appointment today. Today was also my initial due date. My first OBGYN kept shifting the due date around, then this one that I'm seeing went back to my original records and set the due date for next Wednesday. The doctor asked if I wanted to be induced or if I was still doing okay. I feel my body being stretched to its limits; I now have a hard time lying down for more than a couple of hours and my ribs ache all the time, but that, I gather, is how it goes. I am going to wait until the due date to decide whether to keep waiting or not.
Had another doctor's appointment today. Today was also my initial due date. My first OBGYN kept shifting the due date around, then this one that I'm seeing went back to my original records and set the due date for next Wednesday. The doctor asked if I wanted to be induced or if I was still doing okay. I feel my body being stretched to its limits; I now have a hard time lying down for more than a couple of hours and my ribs ache all the time, but that, I gather, is how it goes. I am going to wait until the due date to decide whether to keep waiting or not.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Hiding from the war stories
Sad to say this, but it looks like I'll have to do what I did back when I got married, start to ignore most people who try to talk to me. As the due date for my baby comes closer, I'd really like to enjoy this phase of my life, and truth be told, people are depressing me. I'm told that my habit of actually listening to people and trying to understand why they say what they do is a bad one, so I'll suspend it for a while.
Now, I've had some truly wonderful people do some amazing things, like the ward member who just showed up with dinner one night or the Relief Society President who came by to visit with me and let me know that if I did face any difficulty, she'd be happy to help me. My visiting teachers have been very down to earth and kind, and I've got several friends who have shown real selflessnessness and kindness. I'm grateful to all of these people.
The vast majority of people who talk to me, though, launch straight into a war story. It's worse than when I was getting married, when I faced a slew of random, unsolicited complaints by people about their spouses and how "hard" marriage is. Now I'm getting complaints by people about pregnancy, labor, and child rearing. It'd be infuriating, if it wasn't so sad.
About half the women who notice that I'm pregnant ask me if I'm ready for it to be over and start right into a complaint about how much they hated pregnancy and how it seemed to last foreeeever. It took me four years to get pregnant, past the point that I ever really hoped to have a biological child. Is it uncomfortable? Sure, sometimes. Am I going to complain about it? Not a chance! If I'm wincing or wheezing, I'll explain to the people around me why, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. So I really get sick and tired of other people's whining. Apparently having children for them was such a breeze that they have the luxury of complaining about the mode of arrival. It's a bit like listening to someone complain about the taxes they have to pay on a million dollar inheritance. It's so sad. It makes me wonder how many people really wanted the kids they already have.
Three women have asked me if I'm tired of the labor war stories yet, only three. Many of the rest just start telling them (and men do this too, complaining about how their wives were in labor). Really, I don't care to know. Everything I've read on labor indicates its a varied and individual experience. I'm sure it's quite painful. But hey, some things are worth a little pain. In these stories I get a sense that a lot of people like to one-up those around them, the complaining is a form of bragging about what they can endure. Well, that's totally weird. Heck, if people want to get into a one-upsmanship about pain, I suppose I could probably win and I don't care. I'm glad most people haven't been hospitalized as often as I have, have broken as many bones at one time, or have brought down a commercial airliner so that they could seek medical treatment because they were at risk for rupturing an organ (yeah, true story, I did that). I didn't endure the pain because I'm ever so tough. I didn't really have a choice. You too would endure if you had to, and I hope you never do. I don't have a lot of choice about the kind of labor I have, only how I handle it, and part of how I choose to handle it is to not preserve it as some intense emotional scar to wave in the faces of other pregnant women.
The saddest of all, though, are the complaints about children and childrearing. Exactly two people have said, "You're in for so much fun!". The vast majority of people open their unsolicited comments with a negative. They complain about the sleep deprivation or the lack of time to themselves or, worse still, complain about one of their kids specifically. Their toddler is a nightmare or their teenager is brainless. Again, it's just sad. I know babies disrupt sleep and can be all consuming. I know that trying to raise a kid can be a strife-ridden and frustrating experience, however, I don't intend to dwell on that kind of stuff, and truth be told, I don't really care about other people's troubles, because given what I've heard about them, they sound self inflicted to me.
When I got married I heard a lot of complaints from people about their spouses, about adapting to living with someone else, etc. and I vowed that I was going to go in with a different attitude. I would never complain about my spouse to a third party except in a dire situation where I needed help. I.e. he shows signs of a dangerous behavior change that could be a medical problem and I need to compare notes - extreme stuff like that. All the usual run of the mill complaints would only be said to my spouse, if to anyone at all. Quite a few deserve to die unspoken, in my opinion. Six years on, I can see the difference it's made. I really don't have any complaints about him that I can think of offhand. The very thought of him makes me unreservedly happy. I'm sure annoyances crop up in my mind, but they drop out as fast as they drop in. I can honestly say I'm happier married than I was single, and more to the point, it's the first thing I'll say to anyone I see wearing an engagement ring. I intend to be the same with my kids. I intend to enjoy them and focus on all the good they bring to my life. I intend to remember how badly I wanted them and how blessed I am to have them. The bad stuff doesn't deserve my energy.
So, I am very sorry that for so many people, their first association with having children is negative. But no, I'm not impressed with how little sleep people got or their amazing sacrifice for putting up with so-and-so for a kid or their incredible selflessness for enduring such hardship to do their duty and raise a child. Rather, I just think they need to stop complaining. I feel even sorrier for the children, who are, as often as not, standing right there when their parents carry on. But from now until my baby's born, I'm shutting off my ears. I don't want to hear it. If I look like I'm ignoring you, I probably am. I'm about to embark on my next great adventure in life, be excited for me or... well... shut up :-).
Now, I've had some truly wonderful people do some amazing things, like the ward member who just showed up with dinner one night or the Relief Society President who came by to visit with me and let me know that if I did face any difficulty, she'd be happy to help me. My visiting teachers have been very down to earth and kind, and I've got several friends who have shown real selflessnessness and kindness. I'm grateful to all of these people.
The vast majority of people who talk to me, though, launch straight into a war story. It's worse than when I was getting married, when I faced a slew of random, unsolicited complaints by people about their spouses and how "hard" marriage is. Now I'm getting complaints by people about pregnancy, labor, and child rearing. It'd be infuriating, if it wasn't so sad.
About half the women who notice that I'm pregnant ask me if I'm ready for it to be over and start right into a complaint about how much they hated pregnancy and how it seemed to last foreeeever. It took me four years to get pregnant, past the point that I ever really hoped to have a biological child. Is it uncomfortable? Sure, sometimes. Am I going to complain about it? Not a chance! If I'm wincing or wheezing, I'll explain to the people around me why, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. So I really get sick and tired of other people's whining. Apparently having children for them was such a breeze that they have the luxury of complaining about the mode of arrival. It's a bit like listening to someone complain about the taxes they have to pay on a million dollar inheritance. It's so sad. It makes me wonder how many people really wanted the kids they already have.
Three women have asked me if I'm tired of the labor war stories yet, only three. Many of the rest just start telling them (and men do this too, complaining about how their wives were in labor). Really, I don't care to know. Everything I've read on labor indicates its a varied and individual experience. I'm sure it's quite painful. But hey, some things are worth a little pain. In these stories I get a sense that a lot of people like to one-up those around them, the complaining is a form of bragging about what they can endure. Well, that's totally weird. Heck, if people want to get into a one-upsmanship about pain, I suppose I could probably win and I don't care. I'm glad most people haven't been hospitalized as often as I have, have broken as many bones at one time, or have brought down a commercial airliner so that they could seek medical treatment because they were at risk for rupturing an organ (yeah, true story, I did that). I didn't endure the pain because I'm ever so tough. I didn't really have a choice. You too would endure if you had to, and I hope you never do. I don't have a lot of choice about the kind of labor I have, only how I handle it, and part of how I choose to handle it is to not preserve it as some intense emotional scar to wave in the faces of other pregnant women.
The saddest of all, though, are the complaints about children and childrearing. Exactly two people have said, "You're in for so much fun!". The vast majority of people open their unsolicited comments with a negative. They complain about the sleep deprivation or the lack of time to themselves or, worse still, complain about one of their kids specifically. Their toddler is a nightmare or their teenager is brainless. Again, it's just sad. I know babies disrupt sleep and can be all consuming. I know that trying to raise a kid can be a strife-ridden and frustrating experience, however, I don't intend to dwell on that kind of stuff, and truth be told, I don't really care about other people's troubles, because given what I've heard about them, they sound self inflicted to me.
When I got married I heard a lot of complaints from people about their spouses, about adapting to living with someone else, etc. and I vowed that I was going to go in with a different attitude. I would never complain about my spouse to a third party except in a dire situation where I needed help. I.e. he shows signs of a dangerous behavior change that could be a medical problem and I need to compare notes - extreme stuff like that. All the usual run of the mill complaints would only be said to my spouse, if to anyone at all. Quite a few deserve to die unspoken, in my opinion. Six years on, I can see the difference it's made. I really don't have any complaints about him that I can think of offhand. The very thought of him makes me unreservedly happy. I'm sure annoyances crop up in my mind, but they drop out as fast as they drop in. I can honestly say I'm happier married than I was single, and more to the point, it's the first thing I'll say to anyone I see wearing an engagement ring. I intend to be the same with my kids. I intend to enjoy them and focus on all the good they bring to my life. I intend to remember how badly I wanted them and how blessed I am to have them. The bad stuff doesn't deserve my energy.
So, I am very sorry that for so many people, their first association with having children is negative. But no, I'm not impressed with how little sleep people got or their amazing sacrifice for putting up with so-and-so for a kid or their incredible selflessness for enduring such hardship to do their duty and raise a child. Rather, I just think they need to stop complaining. I feel even sorrier for the children, who are, as often as not, standing right there when their parents carry on. But from now until my baby's born, I'm shutting off my ears. I don't want to hear it. If I look like I'm ignoring you, I probably am. I'm about to embark on my next great adventure in life, be excited for me or... well... shut up :-).
Friday, March 6, 2009
Bad month
Some months it's hard to put in the hours writing, and this has definitely been one of them. We woke up at 4:30 this morning to a phone call from my brother-in-law to let us know that Trevor's mother was taken in for emergency surgery. Fortunately Trevor's family is wonderful about keeping in contact with everyone and letting them know exactly what's going on.
But the upshot is, Trevor flies out tomorrow to be with his mother, and that's probably not going to be the most excitement we have this month. Last weekend he had surgery in order to correct a chronic health problem - he's still recovering from that. Before that he and I were figuring out our finances and a possible move later on this year - more on that when we get around to making a final decision.
Then our baby is due in the next couple of weeks. I'm trying rather hard to keep writing, making a point of doing at least a page a day, but it's been rough going. I know I haven't produced a short story in a while or finished my novel rewrite yet, and now you know why. Sometimes the universe conspires against you.
But the upshot is, Trevor flies out tomorrow to be with his mother, and that's probably not going to be the most excitement we have this month. Last weekend he had surgery in order to correct a chronic health problem - he's still recovering from that. Before that he and I were figuring out our finances and a possible move later on this year - more on that when we get around to making a final decision.
Then our baby is due in the next couple of weeks. I'm trying rather hard to keep writing, making a point of doing at least a page a day, but it's been rough going. I know I haven't produced a short story in a while or finished my novel rewrite yet, and now you know why. Sometimes the universe conspires against you.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Phil's Fresh
Some shameless nepotism on my blog today. My brother-in-law and Brendan-from-Survivor are buying into Phil's Fresh Foods, which is a burrito maker of, in my totally not biased opinion, very high quality. Brendan and Tom were the team behind Bear Naked Granola, which in two years went from startup to selling out in a very lucrative deal to Kellogg's. It is also the granola of choice for Barack Obama. (No, I'm not making that up. He's made a point of stocking it on his campaign and in the White House.)
So, go eat some Phil's Fresh burritos, currently carried by Whole Foods and Vitamin Cottage, and also served in several Denver area school cafeterias - and distribution should widen quite a bit with the new ownership. There's a wide variety of flavors, and hey, you can also help put my unborn niece/nephew through college.
So, go eat some Phil's Fresh burritos, currently carried by Whole Foods and Vitamin Cottage, and also served in several Denver area school cafeterias - and distribution should widen quite a bit with the new ownership. There's a wide variety of flavors, and hey, you can also help put my unborn niece/nephew through college.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Avatar is up
My cowrite, Avatar, with Ty Franck is up on Niteblade. I've said this before in my biblio and will repeat it here, if you've found this site via my E.M. Tippetts writings and prefer clean, religious fiction, this one's got some profanity and is a horror story. This is the result of it being a co-write; Ty's voice is in there too.
For those of you not put off by this, though, head on over to the Niteblade site and show them some support. They're a relatively new market and have been great to work with. I hope they're around in the industry for a long time to come.
For those of you not put off by this, though, head on over to the Niteblade site and show them some support. They're a relatively new market and have been great to work with. I hope they're around in the industry for a long time to come.
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