when I have no energy. I spend a lot of my days doing menial, unblogworthy stuff - though I'm not sure I do anything more interesting when I do have energy, but it feels more interesting to me and thus I'm more inclined to inflict it on other people via the internet.
But I've been slow to update this blog and ought to say something. I'll try to come up with something more interesting next week.
Today, rather than write, I sent out more agent submissions. It's considerably less painful than submissions usually are for me; I guess because I was proactive about getting my synopsis and outline written up front. Always a good idea.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Always something new
Well, given my ever changing waking/sleep cycle, I at least have plenty of reasons to keep stretching myself in my writing. I *hope* I'm getting over the worst of my transition from normal person (or near as I ever come) to phase disordered person. My life the last few days has involved sleeping through most of Sunday and through part of Sunday night, then being wide awake for the rest of Sunday night and all of Monday and until three o'clock this morning, when I slept for five hours, got up to look after my son, and got a bunch of random, short cat naps in the mid afternoon. Now it's nearing midnight, and I can tell I won't be sleeping.
While awake, I sometimes can focus, and sometimes can't. I spend a lot of time with so much noise in my head that all I can really do is go for a walk or lie on the couch, or try to read the news (for some reason I do that when I can't think straight, though I'm sure it's of little use to me.) The challenge, then, is to find the lucid hours I have and put them to good use.
Add to this the fact that I usually write a million drafts of a book or story, and this can make it hard to write anything, though really, this is how it's been most of my writing life. I'm always trying something new, and this time what I'm doing is writing the book all out of order. I've done this before, but never to this extreme. If I sense a boring part coming up, I skip it. I don't want boring parts. What results is a whole bunch of disjointed scenes, and we'll see if I can pull them together, but what I hope will happen is that I'll write the intervening scenes once I get ideas for how to make them interesting, and maybe this'll cut down on rewrites a little. We'll see.
Still, I really wish I could sleep. I don't like just sitting around brain dead in the wee hours of the morning :-(
While awake, I sometimes can focus, and sometimes can't. I spend a lot of time with so much noise in my head that all I can really do is go for a walk or lie on the couch, or try to read the news (for some reason I do that when I can't think straight, though I'm sure it's of little use to me.) The challenge, then, is to find the lucid hours I have and put them to good use.
Add to this the fact that I usually write a million drafts of a book or story, and this can make it hard to write anything, though really, this is how it's been most of my writing life. I'm always trying something new, and this time what I'm doing is writing the book all out of order. I've done this before, but never to this extreme. If I sense a boring part coming up, I skip it. I don't want boring parts. What results is a whole bunch of disjointed scenes, and we'll see if I can pull them together, but what I hope will happen is that I'll write the intervening scenes once I get ideas for how to make them interesting, and maybe this'll cut down on rewrites a little. We'll see.
Still, I really wish I could sleep. I don't like just sitting around brain dead in the wee hours of the morning :-(
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Submissions
People have asked if we're "announcing" our pregnancy. Obviously, it's appeared here in my blog and our friends know, but the reason it hasn't appeared in the subject line of the blog or anything like that is because we're still waiting for the 12 week milestone before we really get our hopes up. I've watched a couple of friends have to go and un-announce their pregnancies, so I just won't feel secure until the end of the first trimester. My reason for saying anything was to explain why I'm off my sleep meds and will be off them long term. As much as I fight it, not sleeping regularly makes me depressed and bitter and I know it shows in my blogging. Best to disclose what's going on than to have people think I've just turned mean :-).
This time around it's been especially hard, because it's yet another time I have to take a break from treatment. We've known I've got some kind of condition for about five years, but in that time I've only been treated about half the time. I've gone off medication for pregnancies and while trying to get pregnant, and I delayed treatment until I could help my husband with some health concerns. I try to focus on the positive, how I want children and this is my choice, but late at night when there's no prospect of sleep, or in the middle of the day when I'm too tired to see straight and yet all I can do is maybe doze, or on the days when I can't stop sleeping, even though it isn't restful, perspective is hard and I just go crazy over how much of my life has been eaten up by this condition. And please, while I'm in the midst of dealing with this, don't try to console me by saying you know how it goes. Read back on some of my old posts on my condition before you even consider it, please. I'll bet you almost anything, you've got no clue how it feels - no offense. I missed church on Sunday because I was home crying my eyes out for absolutely no reason. I've never met anyone else who does that.
Submissions are not the best activity when you're in a low mood, but they're a part of the business. I initially posted the types of responses I was getting in my agent search for my novel, but I'm purposely not continuing with that. The reason for that is because you don't want to leave a public record if you have a long, difficult submissions process. It's an advertisement that lots and lots of people didn't think your book was worth investing in. The thing is, I know a few people who've had brutal agent searches who ended up landing a good book deal, so it benefits no one to broadcast every failure along the way. Having said that, it's still very early days in my book submission process and the response has been quite positive, so so far, so good!
Still no word back from that book publisher on my LDS novel, but also how it goes. Now, I'm posting all these rambles about how the business works as information, not as complaints - just so we're clear. Submitting work directly to publishers can be a loooong process. In the LDS market, it'll often be many months. In the national market, it can be one to two years, and those time frames are per publisher. I thank everyone who continues to ask about whether that book's coming out. It will still be quite a while before I can answer that, and I will announce it once I know.
This time around it's been especially hard, because it's yet another time I have to take a break from treatment. We've known I've got some kind of condition for about five years, but in that time I've only been treated about half the time. I've gone off medication for pregnancies and while trying to get pregnant, and I delayed treatment until I could help my husband with some health concerns. I try to focus on the positive, how I want children and this is my choice, but late at night when there's no prospect of sleep, or in the middle of the day when I'm too tired to see straight and yet all I can do is maybe doze, or on the days when I can't stop sleeping, even though it isn't restful, perspective is hard and I just go crazy over how much of my life has been eaten up by this condition. And please, while I'm in the midst of dealing with this, don't try to console me by saying you know how it goes. Read back on some of my old posts on my condition before you even consider it, please. I'll bet you almost anything, you've got no clue how it feels - no offense. I missed church on Sunday because I was home crying my eyes out for absolutely no reason. I've never met anyone else who does that.
Submissions are not the best activity when you're in a low mood, but they're a part of the business. I initially posted the types of responses I was getting in my agent search for my novel, but I'm purposely not continuing with that. The reason for that is because you don't want to leave a public record if you have a long, difficult submissions process. It's an advertisement that lots and lots of people didn't think your book was worth investing in. The thing is, I know a few people who've had brutal agent searches who ended up landing a good book deal, so it benefits no one to broadcast every failure along the way. Having said that, it's still very early days in my book submission process and the response has been quite positive, so so far, so good!
Still no word back from that book publisher on my LDS novel, but also how it goes. Now, I'm posting all these rambles about how the business works as information, not as complaints - just so we're clear. Submitting work directly to publishers can be a loooong process. In the LDS market, it'll often be many months. In the national market, it can be one to two years, and those time frames are per publisher. I thank everyone who continues to ask about whether that book's coming out. It will still be quite a while before I can answer that, and I will announce it once I know.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Bitter Seeds by Ian Tregillis
This has been out for a few weeks but I've put off posting about it until I felt coherent (or more coherent, at least). So far it sounds like sales are strong - by which I mean it got rushed back to press once already!
A little history on this book that you perhaps won't find elsewhere. Ian joined Critical Mass a few years ago when he was fresh out of Clarion West (much like I had years before that) with this insane, wild talent for writing stories that defy category. There was the one about the Madwoman on the Moon who was on some kind of personal jihad that indirectly caused spontaneous terraforming, and there was the one about the con artist who had a computer that contained the personalities of all the Catholic Popes, and there was another one about the asteroid miner with a computer named Coleridge who helps her discover a matrioshka computer built by aliens. Thing is, as random as these ideas sound, the stories were all incredible. Like, as in disgustingly incredible. Ian's one of those people I'd hate if I didn't like him so much.
He had this idea for a novel that kinda sorta had to do with Nietzsche's ubermensch, British supernaturalism and World War II that would play on the themes of Cincinnatus. Critical Mass got together to break the plot of this thing. This was the sort of project that could go well, or so terribly badly that we left poor Ian blubbering in the corner - oh, no wait. I promised Ian not to talk about his tendency to do that. Anyway, that doesn't matter, because the plotbreak session was phenomenal. At least, that's how it looked where I sat. The group broke the plots of a three book series, and book number one is the one you see here, Bitter Seeds. After the plotbreak he got writing, and within a year he'd landed an agent and a three book deal with Tor.
Well deserved. I don't say this about many books, but you've got to read this one, and the two that follow. This one will introduce you to the mad genius that is Ian's muse - I think the thing's got a weird obsessive compulsive disorder paired with a penchant for beat poetry - and is an alternate history account of World War II that includes cyborg superhumans and upper class Britons who commune with evil spirits. The viewpoint character is one Raybould Marsh, a working class British boy whose intelligence and potential win him a patron and champion who puts him through school. He becomes one of the founding members of Milkweed, a wartime top secret project that gathers information on Nazi cyborgs and counters with magic cast by warlocks. It's nowhere near as campy as it sounds.
And as exciting and epic as the plot of this novel is (I'm not giving any spoilers) - it's only the beginning...
A little history on this book that you perhaps won't find elsewhere. Ian joined Critical Mass a few years ago when he was fresh out of Clarion West (much like I had years before that) with this insane, wild talent for writing stories that defy category. There was the one about the Madwoman on the Moon who was on some kind of personal jihad that indirectly caused spontaneous terraforming, and there was the one about the con artist who had a computer that contained the personalities of all the Catholic Popes, and there was another one about the asteroid miner with a computer named Coleridge who helps her discover a matrioshka computer built by aliens. Thing is, as random as these ideas sound, the stories were all incredible. Like, as in disgustingly incredible. Ian's one of those people I'd hate if I didn't like him so much.
He had this idea for a novel that kinda sorta had to do with Nietzsche's ubermensch, British supernaturalism and World War II that would play on the themes of Cincinnatus. Critical Mass got together to break the plot of this thing. This was the sort of project that could go well, or so terribly badly that we left poor Ian blubbering in the corner - oh, no wait. I promised Ian not to talk about his tendency to do that. Anyway, that doesn't matter, because the plotbreak session was phenomenal. At least, that's how it looked where I sat. The group broke the plots of a three book series, and book number one is the one you see here, Bitter Seeds. After the plotbreak he got writing, and within a year he'd landed an agent and a three book deal with Tor.
Well deserved. I don't say this about many books, but you've got to read this one, and the two that follow. This one will introduce you to the mad genius that is Ian's muse - I think the thing's got a weird obsessive compulsive disorder paired with a penchant for beat poetry - and is an alternate history account of World War II that includes cyborg superhumans and upper class Britons who commune with evil spirits. The viewpoint character is one Raybould Marsh, a working class British boy whose intelligence and potential win him a patron and champion who puts him through school. He becomes one of the founding members of Milkweed, a wartime top secret project that gathers information on Nazi cyborgs and counters with magic cast by warlocks. It's nowhere near as campy as it sounds.
And as exciting and epic as the plot of this novel is (I'm not giving any spoilers) - it's only the beginning...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The Dragon and the Stars is out!
It's out! My parents got home from their visit to the UK yesterday and found their copies waiting in their mail, so it's shipped from Amazon. My story, Across the Sea, is in this anthology, along with a story by my Clarion West classmate, Susan Ee. I look forward to getting my hands on my own copy of this one!
Meanwhile, I highly recommend that anyone in the Toronto area go to the launch for this book which will be at the Merril Collection of Science Fiction, May 13, 2010, 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., at the Lillian H. Smith Branch of the Toronto Public Library, 239 College Street, Toronto. I wish I could go :-(
Meanwhile, I highly recommend that anyone in the Toronto area go to the launch for this book which will be at the Merril Collection of Science Fiction, May 13, 2010, 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., at the Lillian H. Smith Branch of the Toronto Public Library, 239 College Street, Toronto. I wish I could go :-(
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Moving commas around
Actually, I hope that's not what I'm doing on my novel, but over the last week I've been slowly and methodically trying to wrap up the project. All of the substantive writing was done, but even as I'm sending queries out to agents, I can never leave a piece alone until it's out of my hands entirely. The way I avoid overworking it is by keeping my edits small in scope. I work on the wording of a scene that bothered me or go back to put in more details from my wonderfully helpful resource-person, Abby Sanger, who grew up in Taos, NM, where the novel is set. She's given me a ton of information about what the high school looks like, where teens spend their times, and the dynamics between the three major cultures in the area.
I don't have horrific morning sickness, but rather a constant low level nausea that makes me want to spend even more time just lying on the couch with my eyes closed. I go for walks to clear it up and try to eat well, but all food is pretty disgusting at the moment. Not that I'm complaining; being pregnant's a major blessing for us. If you see me sometime in the next few weeks, though, and I turn down a lunch date or something, that's why. It's nothing personal. My situation here is beyond good, though. My husband treats me like an absolute princess, cooking all the meals, looking after our son every moment that he's not at work, doing the grocery shopping and the housecleaning. It consumes me with guilt, but at least this time around I know I'll be able to pull my own weight once again in the future.
When my sleep disorder was finally diagnosed (at least well enough to get an effective treatment - we still don't know what causes the disorder) I'd been going on so little sleep for so long that I just hated life. I'd wake up every morning in a *furious* rage that would take hours of hard work to dissipate. There was no logical reason for the anger; just bad chemicals in the system, I guess. Work was miserable. Relaxation was impossible. It was like someone had planted a crank between my shoulderblades and wound it so tight that I could barely breathe, and any attempts at meditation or anything like that were laughably inadequate. Sleep was always a challenge and towards the end was dominated by nightmares. I'd no sooner close my eyes than my subconscious would just let loose with vitriol, making me wake up every 30-40 minutes, often in a cold sweat with my pulse racing. So when I went on my medication, the change was noticeable, but it took a lot of years to pay down that sleep deficit. I could sleep through the night, but I still had trouble focusing and was depressed a lot.
Just before this pregnancy, I was in good shape for the first time that I can remember. I had so much extra energy! I could wake up and play with my son, then make jewelry and write novels while he napped, keep house, cook meals, and keep it all together - at least to my own satisfaction if not everyone else's ;-)
So, now as my sleep cycle unravels again, I'm holding on to the memory of what was possible and will be possible again, and I'm keeping my writing goals modest. I think I may manage another novel before the baby is here, but probably not many short stories. I'll just be picking away at things a little bit each day, and on the worst days, just move a few commas around and call it good.
I don't have horrific morning sickness, but rather a constant low level nausea that makes me want to spend even more time just lying on the couch with my eyes closed. I go for walks to clear it up and try to eat well, but all food is pretty disgusting at the moment. Not that I'm complaining; being pregnant's a major blessing for us. If you see me sometime in the next few weeks, though, and I turn down a lunch date or something, that's why. It's nothing personal. My situation here is beyond good, though. My husband treats me like an absolute princess, cooking all the meals, looking after our son every moment that he's not at work, doing the grocery shopping and the housecleaning. It consumes me with guilt, but at least this time around I know I'll be able to pull my own weight once again in the future.
When my sleep disorder was finally diagnosed (at least well enough to get an effective treatment - we still don't know what causes the disorder) I'd been going on so little sleep for so long that I just hated life. I'd wake up every morning in a *furious* rage that would take hours of hard work to dissipate. There was no logical reason for the anger; just bad chemicals in the system, I guess. Work was miserable. Relaxation was impossible. It was like someone had planted a crank between my shoulderblades and wound it so tight that I could barely breathe, and any attempts at meditation or anything like that were laughably inadequate. Sleep was always a challenge and towards the end was dominated by nightmares. I'd no sooner close my eyes than my subconscious would just let loose with vitriol, making me wake up every 30-40 minutes, often in a cold sweat with my pulse racing. So when I went on my medication, the change was noticeable, but it took a lot of years to pay down that sleep deficit. I could sleep through the night, but I still had trouble focusing and was depressed a lot.
Just before this pregnancy, I was in good shape for the first time that I can remember. I had so much extra energy! I could wake up and play with my son, then make jewelry and write novels while he napped, keep house, cook meals, and keep it all together - at least to my own satisfaction if not everyone else's ;-)
So, now as my sleep cycle unravels again, I'm holding on to the memory of what was possible and will be possible again, and I'm keeping my writing goals modest. I think I may manage another novel before the baby is here, but probably not many short stories. I'll just be picking away at things a little bit each day, and on the worst days, just move a few commas around and call it good.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Energy reserves gone
Well, the good news is that it looks like we're going to have another baby - it's still early days yet so I hesitate to get too optimistic until we're past 12 weeks. I'm posting this, though, to explain why my blogging and jewelry making have taken a nosedive. Without my medication to manage my sleep disorder, I have no extra energy. My days are right now devoted to playing with my son and getting just a few other items done. All orders at my Etsy shop are still filled in 48 hours (usually 24) and I can do custom orders, but I'm not aggressively working to get new product out at this time. It just isn't feasible right now.
More details on the pregnancy will come later - though realize I won't be revealing a ton of them. I consider my family life personal and don't share much on the internet. If you know me, feel free to email me, but please understand that I tend to keep mum on things like due dates, etc. I know people mean well, but when I have to spend half my day lying on the couch (pregnancy itself is exhausting, on top of the sleep deprivation), a dozen emails near the due date asking if I've delivered yet are just too overwhelming.
Otherwise, things are going well. Since it's took me so long to get pregnant with my son, I'm overjoyed that I seem to be able to do it again without medical help. Over the rest of this year I'll probably be pretty subdued on my blog and elsewhere. It isn't because I'm avoiding you. I'm just pushing my body to its limits right now.
Meanwhile I've gotten my novel queries out to eight agents and gotten three rejections and still just the one request for pages. I hope to get more queries out this weekend!
More details on the pregnancy will come later - though realize I won't be revealing a ton of them. I consider my family life personal and don't share much on the internet. If you know me, feel free to email me, but please understand that I tend to keep mum on things like due dates, etc. I know people mean well, but when I have to spend half my day lying on the couch (pregnancy itself is exhausting, on top of the sleep deprivation), a dozen emails near the due date asking if I've delivered yet are just too overwhelming.
Otherwise, things are going well. Since it's took me so long to get pregnant with my son, I'm overjoyed that I seem to be able to do it again without medical help. Over the rest of this year I'll probably be pretty subdued on my blog and elsewhere. It isn't because I'm avoiding you. I'm just pushing my body to its limits right now.
Meanwhile I've gotten my novel queries out to eight agents and gotten three rejections and still just the one request for pages. I hope to get more queries out this weekend!
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